I’ve been in this business awhile…more than 32 years…and the amount of time I’ve spent in radio became crystal clear to me the other day.    I wasn’t sitting around thinking about the old days, or talking with people I’ve worked with.   No, just cleaning my office.       It’s apparently more of a time capsule than an office.     Some things I found, I knew were in there.   Others I thought had been lost, stolen or given away.     I had the normal radio stuff…old tapes of myself from old stations, mostly cassettes, although I had a few reel to reels that I have no way to listen to because nobody has a reel to reel machine anymore.       It’s not like cassettes are that easy to find either.      I found lots of old scribbles that were supposed to be the start of jokes or story ideas which, after reading them, made me realize I wouldn’t have made it as either a comedian or writer.     I have a promotional Dr. Laura doll…pull the string and it nags.      Seriously, that’s it what it says.      I won’t mention my stuffed raccoon.     But buried in a bag in the bottom of a box was something that pretty much epitomizes my old days in rock radio: Two locks of Ozzy Osbourne’s hair.   

Legend has it that Ozzy was at a Los Angeles radio station in the early 80s and decided to shave his head as a stunt.      The station didn’t want to throw a promotional opportunity away, so they swept up his hair and put it in little baggies which they gave to listeners.     A person I knew at the time worked there, so she sent some to my station.    I snagged ‘em both.   And so they sit…30 years later…in a bag in the bottom of a box in the back of my office.     Ozzy’s hair has grown back since then…I’ve lost most of mine.     I wonder if there’s enough DNA left for cloning?    Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we had another Ozzy?