I’ve been in this business awhile…more than 32 years…and the amount of time I’ve spent in radio became crystal clear to me the other day. I wasn’t sitting around thinking about the old days, or talking with people I’ve worked with. No, just cleaning my office. It’s apparently more of a time capsule than an office. Some things I found, I knew were in there. Others I thought had been lost, stolen or given away. I had the normal radio stuff…old tapes of myself from old stations, mostly cassettes, although I had a few reel to reels that I have no way to listen to because nobody has a reel to reel machine anymore. It’s not like cassettes are that easy to find either. I found lots of old scribbles that were supposed to be the start of jokes or story ideas which, after reading them, made me realize I wouldn’t have made it as either a comedian or writer. I have a promotional Dr. Laura doll…pull the string and it nags. Seriously, that’s it what it says. I won’t mention my stuffed raccoon. But buried in a bag in the bottom of a box was something that pretty much epitomizes my old days in rock radio: Two locks of Ozzy Osbourne’s hair.
Legend has it that Ozzy was at a Los Angeles radio station in the early 80s and decided to shave his head as a stunt. The station didn’t want to throw a promotional opportunity away, so they swept up his hair and put it in little baggies which they gave to listeners. A person I knew at the time worked there, so she sent some to my station. I snagged ‘em both. And so they sit…30 years later…in a bag in the bottom of a box in the back of my office. Ozzy’s hair has grown back since then…I’ve lost most of mine. I wonder if there’s enough DNA left for cloning? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we had another Ozzy?
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